| Love
beyond borders
Many
years ago in the early internet history when usenet
was cool and blogs were not yet born, a French email correspondent
asked me: “Can you explain me Thai women?”
Whao,
I thought. How the heck am I gonna I do that? I sometimes
struggled to explain myself to me, let alone my fellow
countrywomen to a French man searching for a quick answer. Needless
to say, he didn’t get any satisfactory answer from me—and, how do
you answer that kind of question anyway?
Now
that I’m (quite) a bit older, I can explain myself a little better
now, having had practice with my (foreign) husband. I am still none
the wiser, however, when it comes to explaining the entire population
of my fellow countrywomen to anybody. (Besides, I don’t think that
I can—or should—speak for all Thai women.)
I
got asked a lot in the years that I talked to strangers
online. Several men asked: How do I find a “nice” Thai
woman? (“Nice,” it was not said, but understood to
mean: “not having to be paid to engage in ‘romantic’ activities.”)
Another loaded question that could lead the answerer to any direction,
depending what kind of mood she’s in. So, I often opted for this
response: “How do you find a ‘nice’ woman in your country?”
Let’s
face it, many people have a certain perception about
Thailand, aka the “Land of Smiles” (notwithstanding lots of frowns
and snarls of late). We are best known for our hospitality, food,
temples, and, um, women—among the top attractions. Yeah, you bet
that some may like certain attractions more than others.
But
glorious and dubious reputations aside, when it comes to love and
romance, life goes on as before. Romantic coupling (and decoupling)
continues. Boys still look for girls, and girls also want to meet
boys. Sometimes, boys are looking for boys and girls for girls as
well. Whichever combination, these days the looking and the meeting
span across a wider geography, across national and cultural borders.
No
doubt Thailand still is (and probably will continue to be for sometime)
a favorite destination for certain visitors coming to unleash their
erotic fantasies, but an ever growing number of people (mostly men)
are looking for a relationship that is more exclusive and more enduring
with Thais.
Mixed
Thai-foreign couples are now common sights in Thailand.
Most still follow the usual Thai female-foreign male pattern, but
perhaps we will see more foreign female-Thai male couples now that
there are more young unattached foreign women living in Thailand.
From casual observation I think cross-cultural understanding in
friendly or romantic relationships has probably improved quite a
lot in the last decade. More Thai people can now communicate better
in English and other foreign languages. More cultural resources
are available on the internet with both Thai and foreigners writing
about many things Thai, including culture, language, relationships,
politics and what have you. There are also many more books available
online and in bookshops to help lovers and friends on the different
sides of the borders understand each other better.
Thaisextalk.com
is another place to offer friendship and another perspective to
those who are in cross-cultural romance with a Thai—or a Thai in
a romantic or friendly relationship with someone from a foreigner
culture.
As
I continue to build this site, I will write more articles and add
links to good resources.
I
also welcome good articles. If you have a good story to share about
your cross-cultural romance experience, please don’t hesitate to
contact me. Provided the story is in either
English or Thai and presentable to the public, I will post it on
the site for you. I am also happy to exchange links with websites
or blogs with similar interest.
So,
let’s talk and share stories and ideas.
Kaewmala
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